Kia ora,

I had someone come up to me at a networking event yesterday and tell me that the reason they attended was because I recommended the event in a previous newsletter! So nice to hear that Business-Minded is having a positive impact. 🥹

This week dives into how to gain perspective, inspired by a challenging hospital roommate.

Enjoy, and if you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter, please do forward it on. 💞

Estimated Read time: 4 minutes 47 seconds

The Deep Dive: Gotta stand back to admire it

Perspective isn’t about turning lemons into lemonade. 🍋

Perspective is about standing back and realising lemons are actually pretty handy and versatile exactly as they are, bitterness and all.

I spent two nights in hospital last week when an innocuous burn on my hand turned into lymphangitis (infection that enters your lymphatic system and spreads rapidly). 

I went to After Hours at 8pm, got sent to hospital at 11pm, got a “room” (aka a recliner chair behind a curtain) at 4am, and eventually got transferred to a bed around 11am the following day.

And while I was shattered and in pain, I had a pretty good time. 😎

I joked with the doctors and nurses, watched a few shows with my partner, enjoyed my aeroplane-vibes tray meals, and felt generally grateful for the care I was given.

(Not to mention grateful for modern medicine - 100 years ago this would’ve been a full amputate scenario). 😬

My experience was thrown into stark contrast by my roommate in hospital. 

They had a cat bite which had gotten seriously infected and sounded tremendously painful. 

My initially high level of sympathy gradually eroded over the following 30 hours as I listened to this person complain continuously about:

• their injury

• their profession

• the Healthline staff

• the quality of food

• the fact they didn’t get their own room

• their son

• the name their son had chosen for his child

• and eventually, about me.

And as I sat in my hospital bed with my blood boiling as I listened to this person call me “entitled and ignorant” for having 3x phone calls and a visitor (this person had also had 3x phone calls and a visitor), I realised I had a choice:

1. I could sit there enraged and take their unkind words to heart, or

2. I could gain perspective

I reminded myself that I could leave this person’s negativity at the hospital door, and go back into a life which is happy and fulfilling, whereas they would carry that negativity with them everywhere.

At the end of the day, I had a good time in hospital because I chose to have a good time, not to be a victim to my circumstances.

Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of horrific, unfair and traumatic things that happen in life — and I’m in no way promoting a ‘toxic positivity’ approach to dealing with them.

But it is possible to acknowledge trauma and hardship and find a way to move forwards positively.

I had brain surgery in 2020 and had to spend two years rebuilding my physical and mental health (read more here).

This took a LOT of healing, introspection and behaviour change. There were a lot of rough days — especially as this directly coincided with my first year in business.

The only way I got through brain surgery recovery and last week’s hospital escapade was by accepting that I couldn’t change or control what had happened to me, but I could choose how to move forwards.

Action of the Week:

Being able to gain perspective in any given moment is a muscle that needs to be built over time.

I was able to gain perspective in hospital quickly because I’ve actively worked on calling out my victim mentality for years.

It was really hard at first as it’s much easier to lean into a victim mentality than to take responsibility. But the more I strengthened my ability to gain perspective, the quicker I became able to pick myself up and move forwards.

Is there something in your life right now that feels unfair, frustrating, or out of your control?

I.e. you have a belief around a circumstance that:

• Bad things happen and will keep happening.

• Other people or circumstances are to blame.

• Any efforts to create change will fail, so there’s no point in trying.

Think of that situation and ask yourself these questions:

1. Can I respond differently to this situation?

2. What story am I telling about this situation? Can I change my story or tell it from a different perspective to allow me to see it in another way?

3. What are the positives of the situation I’m in? How can I amplify them more?

4. What is a small action I can take to improve my situation?

Finally, THANK YOU to all of you who reply to these emails with your thoughts, feedback, and support. It means the world! Is there anything that would be helpful for me to cover in future issues?

Inspo & Recommendations:

LinkedIn post: “F*ck Business as usual, do something awesome instead”, by Seamus Boyer

Podcast ep:  “When you don’t like your life, make some changes”, by Empower with Tesh and Mihi

Learning: How to Invest a Lump Sum of Money, by Kernel Wealth

Tech: Hydroflask Wide Flex Straw Travel Bottle. This is cheeky to recommend under tech, but after months of drink bottle research I finally purchased this. It’s cup holder friendly, insulated, compact enough to fit in your backpack, and the colour doesn’t peel off.

Money:  Write two lists before you shop Black Friday/Christmas sales. A reminder to try the two lists approach I talked about in last week’s action of the week. 😉

Love from your (currently one-armed) business-minded friend,

Elise